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Others Partial WIP Black Conqueror: Lord of Tartanova [RJ01080136][Negative gang] ENG Translation ver. 0.14

KuronCZ

Newbie
Jul 21, 2018
51
19
dead: Yeah, I don't think anything else would work. Not unless you wanna go hard shitposter and use "F" or "RIP".
RIP :D Yeah, it didn't even cross my mind. :D I'm obviously not using it, but I think that would give across the message "You let her die, you asshole!"

regret: I like it, but that is due to my context being "she is unhappy about her failure". Here "regret" matches better than "gloom" imo, but I don't know if the same would apply in other character(s)'s context.
I'm also pretty much happy about this one. I mean, it's such obvious choice, yet I happened to miss it.

terror: Works just as well as your fear or afraid, really I only offered it to expand your options. Mainly a question of what you decide to use for shinjou and which of the three would better fit.
Currently I like the most this "attitude" option, so which of them you think fits the best?

disdain: My least favorite of the three I suggested, the main issue being that "disdain" typically implies that the person feeling it sees themselves in a higher position than the person they are disdaining. If I'm reading the kanji correctly in your image (probably not lmao), then ten of the characters use the potential "route". I doubt that all ten of these girls see themselves as the MCs better.
Well, my personal favorite (and which also makes story-wise the most sense to me), is "hate", but the word is 嫌悪 (Ken'o), not 嫌い (Kirai) or 憎む (Nikumu), so I think "disdain" is actually the best fit, when it comes to meaning. I also learned the word 嫌悪 (Ken'o) from this game the same way I learned the word "disdain" from you. That word isn't used that much.

Here I think I should also point out how the writers of this game work with kanji. It may be for the potential Chinese customers, or it may be just some kind of creative style, but a lot of buttons or generaly whole UI is using way too much kanji and the numbers of them shows certain patterns.

Just notice how all the words in the table consist of exactly 2 kanji with only one exception, 愛 (Ai), which just cannot be written different way with similar enough meaning.

This is not a coincidence, this is intentional. That's why they wouldn't use 嫌い (Kirai), because it has only one kanji and one hiragana character, which defies the pattern way too much.

My point here is, that even the original words aren't necessarily the best fit either and the writers must have brainstormed them just like we do.

apathy: I dislike this one because it can imply that a person is apathetic in general, rather than being broken down into becoming apathetic. This, again, is coming from my context being "the main character made her give up about her situation and now she tries to not think about anything".
The only characters with this attitude are Elf Queen Lilibeja, Holy Knight Valeria, lady Merryfa and princess Yunolasia and all of them have different personality, so it's hard to find something common. But I still think that currently "apathy" fits the best, since they all basically fell from grace and their future is in the protagonist's hands. "Resigned" sounds good too, but it's unfortunately too wide.

docile: I really didn't like this one before when given the context of "she has accepted her fate and now she simply follows the main character's orders without showing much defiance" because it felt more like describing a personality trait rather than her state of being "tamed". However, after giving it some thought I figure that a player will have the context needed to correctly associate the intention that "docile" implies here. Same probably applies to "apathy" above too.
Yeah, I would also rather use another word, but I just can't find anything better, yet short enough.

slave: So, like, I am absolutely not one of those people who are opposed to using the word "slave". But I do believe in using it correctly. I'm iffy here as I don't know the context(wow that word is coming up a lot). Are the character(s) enslaved to the MC in one way or another? I dunno, I'll leave it to you and much, much, greater context(there it is again) you have.
隷属 (Reizoku) is pretty much "slave". I mean, it's not literaly "slave" as a person you can officially own, that would be 奴隷 (Dorei), but "follower" is way too weak. 隷属 (Reizoku) is kind of insult, that would offend anybody, who believe in their free mind. In a sense, if you don't mind being called 隷属 (Reizoku), then you're 隷属 (Reizoku), if you know what I mean.

clingy: My context; "she has developed attachment to the main character and personally wants to follow his whims". Your "clingy" applies well for the first half of said context, while my lackey focuses more on the latter half. Kinda an either or situation.
I'm very happy about finding this word and as long as you think it fits into the category being called "Atittude", I'm using it.

This is an eroge so chances are good "lewd" works splendidly, but I haven't played it so I can't say if that's the case here. Would we be going too far into hack localizer territory by using Clear/Complete/Finished instead? Probably.
Yeah, probably. I think the word 享楽 (Kyouraku) has the same issue as 嫌悪 (Ken'o), meaning the writers just wanted something with 2 kanji that conveys the idea well enough.

Most characters can be "cleared" without reaching 享楽 (Kyouraku) (generally, 愛 (Ai) is often enough), but if you continue to having sex with them and you make them cum a lot, it often changes to 享楽 (Kyouraku), despite all what you did was to "fuck their brains out".

crush: Works well. I only offered "interest" to expand your options.
Well, I don't like this word much, because it's way too informal, but "interest" is too long and I didn't find anything better.

Almost every character on the list, who isn't your prisoner, first appears on the List of lovers as 好意 (Kōi), meaning you can spend a night with her, because she is interested. In the first event, you often have a date over a diner, and then go to bed where most of the characters loose their virginity (some of them are experienced though).

After spending just one night with the character, her attitude changes from 好意 (Kōi) to 恋慕 (Renbo), meaning now you're in a relationship, though no hard feelings yet.

After spending even more nights with the character, there is often another date, where this relationship deepens into 愛 (Ai), "love". As I said above, in most cases the character is considered "cleared" at this point, but you can still develop it into 享楽 (Kyouraku), if you want.

Wow, I didn't keep it short this time.
 

c4145317

Member
Oct 14, 2019
161
423
terror: Works just as well as your fear or afraid, really I only offered it to expand your options. Mainly a question of what you decide to use for shinjou and which of the three would better fit.
Currently I like the most this "attitude" option, so which of them you think fits the best?
Again, it's a matter of context. Afraid would be fit best if she's in a state of fearing everything around her, fear if she's afraid of what MC might do to her in his presence. Terror is a step up from fear, like away from him she's afraid of what drastic things he might do to her or those around her.
Lacking context, but having played more games than I'd like to admit, my gut is telling me "Fear" is probably the most fitting of the three.

My point here is, that even the original words aren't necessarily the best fit either and the writers must have brainstormed them just like we do.
Well, the entire goal of (good) translation is to convey the author's intent as best as possible to new consumers who cannot understand what is being said. So, if you truly do think the writers chopped stuff up a bit to sell to more consumers then I don't see any problems with using a word more in line with, what you believe to be, the author's original intent. This only becomes bad, or rather malicious, translation when the translators use such cases as opportunities to insert their own intent or message into a work that isn't theirs.

隷属 (Reizoku) is pretty much "slave". I mean, it's not literaly "slave" as a person you can officially own, that would be 奴隷 (Dorei), but "follower" is way too weak. 隷属 (Reizoku) is kind of insult, that would offend anybody, who believe in their free mind. In a sense, if you don't mind being called 隷属 (Reizoku), then you're 隷属 (Reizoku), if you know what I mean.
Then it works I suppose. But
隷属 (Reizoku) is kind of insult, that would offend anybody, who believe in their free mind. In a sense, if you don't mind being called 隷属 (Reizoku), then you're 隷属 (Reizoku), if you know what I mean.
Gives me pause. Would "Bitch" or "Lackey" be a better fit? Both would fit into the "If you're fine with being called X then you're X".

I'm very happy about finding this word and as long as you think it fits into the category being called "Atittude", I'm using it.
Yeah, it should fit. Clingy means that a person wants to be around whoever they're clingy towards all the time, but appeasing their targets' whims isn't implied. Like, a lovestruck girlfriend who is calling or texting her boyfriend whenever she isn't with him would be clingy. A shy child hiding behind their mother could also be called clingy. Dotting could be a possible contender, but the word brings to mind a mother meeting her child's needs before said child is aware of them themselves. Doesn't really have the feel of "following X's whims".
But as I said before, given context gained through playing the game up to reaching this point players should be able to correctly associate the intent behind "clingy" instead of dictionarylawyering.

Yeah, probably. I think the word 享楽 (Kyouraku) has the same issue as 嫌悪 (Ken'o), meaning the writers just wanted something with 2 kanji that conveys the idea well enough.

Most characters can be "cleared" without reaching 享楽 (Kyouraku) (generally, 愛 (Ai) is often enough), but if you continue to having sex with them and you make them cum a lot, it often changes to 享楽 (Kyouraku), despite all what you did was to "fuck their brains out".
I'll leave that to you then. I'm afraid anything I offer here will just confuse the both of us.

Well, I don't like this word much, because it's way too informal, but "interest" is too long and I didn't find anything better.

Almost every character on the list, who isn't your prisoner, first appears on the List of lovers as 好意 (Kōi), meaning you can spend a night with her, because she is interested. In the first event, you often have a date over a diner, and then go to bed where most of the characters loose their virginity (some of them are experienced though).
After spending just one night with the character, her attitude changes from 好意 (Kōi) to 恋慕 (Renbo), meaning now you're in a relationship, though no hard feelings yet.
So something like causal or non-exclusive dating then? Yeah, "Crush" wouldn't fit too well. Maybe "Tempted"?
(some of them are experienced though)
Nani the fuck, Japan? You had one job. lmao

Wow, I didn't keep it short this time.
Behold, the power of communicating through tables on a quasi international porn game privacy forum! I joke but now I'm seriously considering tablizing my workout and study routines, maybe then they'll actually become routine.
 

KuronCZ

Newbie
Jul 21, 2018
51
19
To keep everything clear, I'll make another table to see where we are now. I'll add the question mark to those I'm still not satisfied with.


心情 (Shinjou)Attitude
絶望 (Zetsubou)​
despair (good)​
恐怖 (Kyoufu)​
fear (good)​
嫌悪 (Ken'o)​
hate (semi-good)​
諦観 (Teikan)​
apathy? (maybe too strong)​
従順 (Juujun)​
docile (I gave up)​
隷属 (Reizoku)​
slave (good)​
依存 (Izon)​
clingy (semi-good)​
享楽 (Kyouraku)​
lewd (semi-good)​
好意 (Kōi)​
desire? (what about this one)​
恋慕 (Renbo)​
close? (what about this one)​
(Ai)​
love (good)​
死亡 (Shibou)​
dead (good)​



I also added the image again to show the routes. The relationship with the characters develops straight from the left to right except for princess Yunolasia, who has more than one outcome.

Would "Bitch" or "Lackey" be a better fit? Both would fit into the "If you're fine with being called X then you're X".
I don't think "Bitch" or "Lackey" is a person, who don't believe in their free mind. It's possible that they are in a difficult situation, but they still chose their path. The characters with this attitude are forced into physical relationship.

By the way, I think I've learned a lot about both languages during this few days. I usually don't spend so much time on a few words. :D
 
Last edited:

c4145317

Member
Oct 14, 2019
161
423
心情 (Shinjou)Attitude
絶望 (Zetsubou)​
despair (good)​
恐怖 (Kyoufu)​
fear (good)​
嫌悪 (Ken'o)​
hate (semi-good)​
諦観 (Teikan)​
apathy? (maybe too strong)​
従順 (Juujun)​
docile (I gave up)​
隷属 (Reizoku)​
slave (good)​
依存 (Izon)​
clingy (semi-good)​
享楽 (Kyouraku)​
lewd (semi-good)​
好意 (Kōi)​
desire? (what about this one)​
恋慕 (Renbo)​
close? (what about this one)​
(Ai)​
love (good)​
死亡 (Shibou)​
dead (good)​
Thanks for color coding the kanji. Turns out I was reading them correctly, which I am stupidly proud of myself for. I don't have a lot of time today, and will forget the entire discussion if I leave it for later without the helpful notification reminding me, so I'll just copy the table and leave some comments.


心情 (Shinjou)Attitude
絶望 (Zetsubou)despair (good)
恐怖 (Kyoufu)fear (good)
嫌悪 (Ken'o)hate (semi-good)
諦観 (Teikan)apathy? (maybe too strong) Not perfect, but works
従順 (Juujun)docile (I gave up) Me too
隷属 (Reizoku)slave (good)
依存 (Izon)clingy (semi-good)
享楽 (Kyouraku)lewd (semi-good)
好意 (Kōi)desire? (what about this one) Not a fan. Would "Intrigue", shorted from intrigued, fit? Might be smaller without capitalization
恋慕 (Renbo)close? (what about this one) With my context of "but her feelings for him may not be too deep yet" I don't like it. Fling was better. Maybe "Flirt" or "Flirting"?
愛 (Ai)love (good)
死亡 (Shibou)dead (good)
 

KuronCZ

Newbie
Jul 21, 2018
51
19
desire: Not a fan. Would "Intrigue", shorted from intrigued, fit? Might be smaller without capitalization
"intrigue" is too long even without capitalization (I don't capitalize any of them to keep them short), but I also don't like it, because it looks like the girl is plotting against the main character.

But that "flirt" or "flirting" (both are short enough), do you think they would be better than "desire" here? I don't like them, because some of the characters are quite serious about the relationship since the begining, but flirting is definitely a way to discreetly show your interest, without saying it directly.

close: With my context of "but her feelings for him may not be too deep yet" I don't like it. Fling was better. Maybe "Flirt" or "Flirting"?
Yeah, because there is a handful of characters with this attitude, so it's hard to explain it universally and correctly at the same time.

As I clarified before, this attitude appears after having the first sex with the main character (in other words after answering to their interest), and while the feelings may not be too deep yet, nobody says it's shallow.

I was trying to say that it's not genuine love yet, but seriously, how many of adult people in relationship are genuinely in love. They are "close", because they are serious about the relationship, they like each other and it has benefits for them and 恋慕 (Renbo) is that form of "love".

That's why I actually think "close" is the best so far as long as I understand its meaning correctly and it fits this "atittude" caregory.
 

c4145317

Member
Oct 14, 2019
161
423
Desire might be a knee jerk reaction from me. Usually in eroges desire, charm, and even the tempt I offered before tend to function as a gauge or aphrodisiac status/condition someone is suffering from. Probably works here, but I see it and I start worrying over some succubi planning their reverse rape feeding. In other words it's likely that the problem here is me.
Sure would be nice if others could offer opinions *cough* lurkers *cough*.

As for Renbo... It's a rather difficult position. You have to remember that the English speaking world was, and still is in ways, extremely prudish until 50-60 years ago when we went "SEXUAL REVOLUTION WOOOOOOOOO"
. I mean, in the grand scheme of things it hasn't been long at all since we courted each other via whispering sweet nothings into a long tube while supervised by family members to ensure nothing untoward happened in the process. It isn't a culture that has words for "casually fucking".
So, you can be "close" to your siblings, parents, friends, neighbors, clients, co-workers, boss, et cetera. But, if someone would describe their relationship with someone else they're fucking while not dating as "close" it'd be strange. I believe I now fully understand why the term "It's complicated" exists.

Oh shit, I'm ranting. Back on topic. Due to the lack of singular English words that would fit such circumstances I'm going to have to dip into more recent terms. "Fuck Buddy"(FB, not to be confused with FaceBook) or "Friends With Benefits"(FwB) would work as more neutral terms. "Transactional" and "Calculative" could be options, but they have negative "vibes" and can't exactly be shortened easily.
Or you could always roll with "close" and the players will, at best, notice that they've progressed a bit and give zero thought to the brainwracked people behind translations. That works. I love you, translators, thank you for your work.
 

KuronCZ

Newbie
Jul 21, 2018
51
19
Okay, so I understand that both "desire" and "close" are no good, because if they're generally used like that, it could be too confusing for players.

But that also means that we are stuck, right now, and didn't make any progress since the previous post. :/

What about that "flirt"/"flirting" though? Would you use it rather as 好意 (Kōi) or 恋慕 (Renbo)? I'm more for 好意 (Kōi) here, but I don't know.

The other option is to break this "width limit" rule. I really didn't want to suggest it after going so far, but look at this:

image.png

This is a screenshot from the current translation of the game. Here you can see all the girls in one table. (This isn't actually possible in one playthrough, I've unlocked them for testing by editing the script.)

The heart symbol means that the girl is "cleared" and you can have an ending with her. However, thing is, that (at least as I know) this symbol can appear only for 享楽 (Kyouraku) and (Ai), so technically I can use the space to make the other words longer.

I didn't want to do this, because the words are used at more places and that could cause troubles, but I've got better in handling the script, so now I believe I could manage.

What are your best suggestions for 諦観 (Teikan), 好意 (Kōi) and 恋慕 (Renbo) without the limit?
 

c4145317

Member
Oct 14, 2019
161
423
Okay, so I understand that both "desire" and "close" are no good, because if they're generally used like that, it could be too confusing for players.
Nah, I doubt players would mind much. Like I said, it's a me issue.

What about that "flirt"/"flirting" though? Would you use it rather as 好意 (Kōi) or 恋慕 (Renbo)? I'm more for 好意 (Kōi) here, but I don't know.
I wanted to say Koi, but I double checked your table here: https://f95zone.to/threads/black-co...eng-translation-ver-0-14.229039/post-15221989
Given "she has obvious crush on the main character, but hasn't expressed her feelings yet" I don't think it's a good fit as flirting is a way of expressing feelings. This gives us a chance to use it for renbo instead, and honestly it fits well. At least better than anything else I can come up with. The word does give a sense of "closeness" without serious implications.

I didn't want to do this, because the words are used at more places and that could cause troubles, but I've got better in handling the script, so now I believe I could manage.
Yeah, I can see why you'd be wary.

What are your best suggestions for 諦観 (Teikan), 好意 (Kōi) and 恋慕 (Renbo) without the limit?
Teikan: Resigned
Kōi: Interest
Renbo: Flirt/Flirting
 

c4145317

Member
Oct 14, 2019
161
423
I'm taking "resigned" and "interest", but when it comes to 恋慕 (Renbo), what about "intimate"?
Intimacy can be used to describe fucking, but that's only within polite/prudish company. Intimate itself is something like two steps above "close". Due to "but her feelings for him may not be too deep yet" it seems like a pretty bad fit.
I honestly think "Flirting" is the best we'll get. And given
As I clarified before, this attitude appears after having the first sex with the main character (in other words after answering to their interest), and while the feelings may not be too deep yet, nobody says it's shallow.
it fits more the more I think on it.